Ouch!

It is time for the second installment of my blog. I started it intending to make frequent posts so it could perform double duty as a type of journal. Unfortunately, my life doesn’t spit out interesting events on a regular basis. Because of this I will try to keep this blog supplied with posts without boring the masses.

I guess the most fascinating part of my life right now is my work. I am a Faculty and Clinic Coordinator for a plastic surgeon at the University of Utah Hospital and Primary Children’s Medical Center. His name is Faizi Siddiqi (10 points for those who can pronounce it correctly) and he is the chief pediatric plastic surgeon at both hospitals. I worked for a reconstructive plastic surgeon (Richard Fryer) before that and I can tell you that since I have started working here (3 ½ years ago) I have seen some pretty interesting, grotesque, and odd things. My mom won’t let me talk about work with her because she can’t stomach seeing or hearing about anything more serious than a hangnail.

However, I will mention some of the more memorable incidents. There was the drug addict who was being seen for chronic wounds on her arms. When Dr. Fryer unwrapped her bandage out popped a marijuana bag. Then there was the time a patient came in for a dog bite to her leg and stopped breathing in the middle of the exam. A chin thrust, a couple calls to the crash team, and some panicking from the MA’s fixed that problem, though. One patient had a poorly healing wound and came to her appointment with the sore covered in glue and glitter to disguise the injury. Another patient wouldn’t take Dr. Fryer’s advice because it contradicted the instructions from her voodoo doctor. One favorite is about the guy who always wanted to try bull riding in a rodeo and saved up to enter an event for his birthday. We saw him a few days later after the bull had stomped on his face. I have seen missing fingers, reattached fingers, toes transplanted to the hand, replanted hands, scalpings, flesh-eating bacteria, motorcycle wounds, attempted suicide injuries, partially crushed skulls, and countless bed sores. (You can open your eyes now, Mom.)

Those are only a few of the patients I can remember. I have learned a few valuable lessons from my time working here that I would like to pass on:

1. think twice before using power tools
2. follow all the safety instructions on recreational vehicles
3. keep children inside while mowing the lawn and wear shoes
4. don’t participate in rodeo events (roping or riding)
5. look out for barbed wire
6. watch out for children’s fingers near closing doors, folding chairs, and bicycles
7. don't work at a meat packing plant

Following this advice will not guarentee your safety, but it will definitely improve your chances.